Dawn O’Porter has a great fringe. She wears gorgeous clothes and pulls off the whole 60s vintage glamour look without looking (too much) like an extra from Scooby Doo. She used to do a programme on Channel 4 about shopping vintage – and it was a bit of fluff, but an entertaining bit of fluff. She was cashing in on her bit-part in Gok Wan’s fashion programmes, and why not? I also remember a brief stint on BBC3, making documentaries on nudity and lesbianism and other such BBC3-ish topics. Again, mildly entertaining, if lacking the gravitas (and sensationalism?) of more recent docs by Stacey Dooley or Reggie Yates.
That was a long time ago – back when I was in the right age bracket for BBC3 – and Dawn O’Porter has since started her own vintage-inspired fashion empire. She has a baby with Hollywood actor Chris O’Dowd, and they live in LA. Yesterday I came across her podcast, Get It On, in which she interviews celebrities about their emotional connection with their clothes. I thought it sounded an interesting premise. The first guest was Jo Whiley, who I agree with Dawn is the epitome of Glastonbury cool. I listened through a very long-winded and cheesy introduction from Dawn, a Natwest ad… then, to the interview. Conducted via Skype. Needless to say, this crackly exchange didn’t make particularly good listening.
All in all, Jo Whiley was interesting – it was Dawn who really annoyed me. Principally, with just one phrase from her intro.
‘I’m principally a writer…’ Or words to that effect.
It bugged me because I’d read her terrible YA novel. Paper Aeroplanes was published in 2013, while I was busy writing my final project for my MA in Creative Writing. I bought the book after seeing her tweet about it (@Hotpatooties makes an interesting follow, if you’re into pics of fairly normal-looking, yummy food – which I am). Her novel, like mine, was focused on the friendship of two teenage girls. It was set in Jersey, which was unusual and sparked my interest as we’d gone on lots of holidays there when I was a kid. If anything, though, Paper Aeroplanes taught me how not to write a novel. I actually cited it in my MA commentary, pinpointing what I didn’t like about it and how I tried to avoid her mistakes. This probably sounds really bitchy, but the plain fact is she’d got this book deal because of her media presence. And her lovely 60s fringe. I saw very little evidence of any literary talent, though this might be because of an urgent deadline, because the whole thing felt incredibly rushed. By the end of it, the clumsy pieces of this book were barely hanging together.
Now, I’m sure she’s written some lovely columns in Glamour. But the idea that she’s principally a writer really, really annoys me. She’s a media personality. Maybe that’s not a job title as such, but that’s what she does.
It’s infuriating that she has another book out in 2017. If anyone without her media presence had written a book as terrible as Paper Aeroplanes, there’s no way they’d be given a second shot.